The Yang Gift

It has been said that couples really only fight about money. I don't know who it is that said it, but I have heard it before so it must be someone I know. Apparently, couples also fight about really stupid things that only make sense to one or both of them. Leaving my apartment today, I heard the couple below me shouting. Like, really shouting. The kind of shouting where you're not sure if they just have the TV on too loud or if they are acting out parts for a play because no one could actually be talking to another human in real life using those tones. Except that these two were. And they happened to be loud enough that when I stopped on the stairs, just out of view of their peephole, I could hear EVERY WORD. This is what they were debating:

Girl: YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD NEVER SAY IT AGAIN.

Guy: AND I DIDN'T.

Girl: YES YOU DID. YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T EVER SAY IT AND YOU SAID IT.

Guy: NO I DIDN'T. WHAT DID I SAY?

Girl: YOU SAID THAT I SAID THAT YOU WERE STUPID. AND I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

If you are thoroughly confused right now, then you might understand why I felt the need to stay on the stairs just a few minutes longer.

Guy: YOU ARE RIGHT. YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT I'M STUPID. YOU SAID THAT I SAY STUPID THINGS.

At this point, the girl is sobbing so hard, it sounds like her throat is rejecting air. And I still can't understand why she is so upset. She's mad that his opinion of her is that she does not think he's smart. This is dumb.

Anyway, the point is that clearly people fight about things other than money. And that I am really happy that I think my boyfriend is smart. Like crazy smart. The Yang is typically the masculine of the pair, the positive, the relief to the bas. In our relationship, M typically makes the decisions because I hate decisions. He thinks ahead about where to eat and how to plan the day, and I am more of a wait-and-see girl. A wait-until-you-are-so-hungry-you-can't-see girl.

With this in mind, for gift purposes, M is more practical and long-term in his present buying. This is not to say that he buys boring presents, because as I'm sure you will discover here, he is excellent at gifting as well. But it is to say that for his birthday a couple of years ago, he received a paper shredder and he was legitimately excited about it.

So, for Valentine's Day in our first year, I gave him the keys to my apartment. This present was more of whim -- I didn't think at all about if it was too soon. I knew that we spent more time at my place and it seemed like a romantic idea that he would like. For our first year anniversary, M gave me keys to his apartment. This present was much more of a marker of where our relationship was and where it was to go. It was a planned decision and it took into account how much he was thinking ahead. And the keys were on a Coach keychain that breaks apart to be two separate keychains. It is gorgeous. It is also by far the nicest label I have ever owned.

The gifts we give each other are a big indicator of how we think about each other, and M and I are very similar in this regard. Clearly, we both think keys are a great gift for romantic occasions. But the biggest difference between us is also illustrated by our gift-giving -- and this is how we present things. I, being the Yin, the calm, wait-and-see girl, always have a hand-written, sometimes hand-drawn card. I wait and watch him open the present and I don't give any clues. M, being the Yang, the positive, the effusive force, always forgets the card, or buys the first one he sees at CVS, hands me the present while I am still taking my coat off and then tells me not to be too excited while I am opening it. This process cracks me up every time.

We might fight about money, we might even fight about something stupid. But I guarantee that we won't fight about giving stupid presents.