Monday, December 14, 2009

The Hangover Relief Gift

I trained with a Gladiator today. This is not a metaphor. She is a red and blue spandex afficionado from the American Gladiators TV show. At the studio where I train, one of the other personal trainers works with fitness competitors and he has been trying to kick my ass for quite a while. I am not exactly sure why. But today I was stuck without an excuse and was forced to join in his regimen for his Gladiator client. And now I have some kind of workout-induced palsy. I can't stand up without my butt pulsing, my legs shaking, every fiber of my body telling me to stop putting weight on them.

This clearly shows you what happens when you become a personal trainer and then stop pushing yourself to the point of total fatigue. Or what happens when you think you are strong enough to work out like a GLADIATOR. (Think flipping 100 pound tires and doing negative pull-ups between wind sprints.) In all seriousness, though, it was actually really fun. In my current financial situation, I haven't been able to afford sessions with my actual personal trainer, who is amazing. It was J, my trainer, who helped me through the transition from teaching to life-after-teaching, and then with gaining personal training certification.

I should probably insert the caveat of my workout history here before my mom calls me. I did not used to enjoy being quite so active. In fact, it was my parents' insistence on getting me out of the house that led to my relationship with yoga. It was not of my own accord. With the gym, I started with some lame workouts in college but got serious while teaching. I was quite literally not strong enough to handle what was going on in my classroom every day. I wanted to be able to blow off steam, but also needed to be able to break up a fight and hold my own. I am a literal person and this made sense to me.

So now, I have a fairly strong track record of randomly pushing myself too far. The last time I was this sore was the day I took on the fitness challenge at my old gym. The day before I moved. BY MYSELF. And I didn't even win.

Anyway, this sensation of utter pain made me think of various pain relief kits given to friends over the past few years. Generally this does not fall under workout pain, but does still fall under the umbrella of let-me-help-you-feel-better-even-though-you-brought-this-on-yourself. In other words, The Hangover Relief kit.

This kit takes two different forms: the preemptive strike and the bandage. As a bandage, it is best brought in person. Especially if this hungover person is someone you are supposed to spend time with that day. Bringing them a few key items will make that time more enjoyable. For you. As a preemptive strike, I have given The Hangover Relief kit many ways. In person, before a big night out, via someone else while the intended recipient is imbibing a few too many already, or mailed as a care package. For a certain college student a few years ago, this care package included Advil, Pepto, gum, a travel toothbrush and some peanut butter crackers. I also included a note that suggested PediaLyte, as my friends at the bar swear this is even better than Gatorade the next morning. (I don't actually know this to be true as I can't drink enough to get to this point. I may be the biggest lightweight ever.) PediaLyte was too heavy to actually include in the package. It would be like mailing a brick, which is not that nice of thing to do under the guise of "Hangover Relief."

I am absolutely certain this package was useful. Mostly because I've seen all of these things put to use in a hungover state. And because even though I am in workout-related pain, all those items sound AWESOME right now.

1 comment:

  1. Be prepared for a glut of posts in January -- holiday presents are taking up a lot of time, so bear with me this week!