Monday, December 7, 2009

The Care Package Gift, Part 1

I am finding the only drawback to the theme of this blog is that I can't talk about any of the gifts I am PLANNING to give because my friends and family seem to like me so much that they actually read this thing. Even my brother seems to have read a couple of entries, which is amazing. This is why it is amazing:

Our parents have birthdays that are three days apart. Literally, they were born three days apart, in the same year, like one hospital away from each other. Every year, this means presents three days apart, which means you can't exactly repeat the same gift for each of them, because everyone has three days' worth of gift-memory. This year, I decided to order presents and have them delivered on their actual birthdays. (Or in the case of my dad's present, the closest approximate day that ProFlowers would deliver the present.) I ordered chocolate covered cherries for my dad, and a potted orchid for my mom. And on the card, I signed it from me, my boyfriend, M, and my brother, G. Then I called G and left him a message saying, I signed your name on the card of these presents, which were...(then I explained the presents,) don't forget to call on their respective birthdays, and you can take ownership of the presents.

When my dad called to thank me, he told me about the conversation he had with G, when my brother DID in fact call to wish him a happy birthday.

Dad: Say, I got a lovely package in the mail from you.

G: Whuh?

So, while my brother is a better person than me because he clearly will not take credit for something that he didn't do, he also clearly does not pay attention to things that I say. This is why him reading this blog is amazing. And I would like to thank him for this by mentioning him in a more flattering light.

Despite having a hard time remembering birthdays, my brother is an excellent gifter. He is also an excellent performer and is studying to that end in college right now. Last year, he was cast in a play called "The Corn is Green." I wanted to go see it, but he told me not to. The problem with having a brother who lives far away, with whom you actually like to hang out, and who is a performer, is that if you buy plane tickets to go see their show, you can't hang out with them. And if you buy plane tickets to go hang out with them, you can't see any of their work. So, last year, I bought plane tickets and we hung out. When I met his friends, they said, oh how nice that you came out to hang out with your brother. To which we honestly replied, well, actually we're going to our grandmother's funeral.

Funny how life works out. Anyway, for "The Corn is Green," which I didn't see, and which I don't really know anything about, I sent him a package entitled, "Things That Are Also Green." I told you I didn't actually know anything about the play.

Inside the package were things like spearmint cough drops, green socks, a new green toothbrush, (I say "new" like I would have sent him an old toothbrush,) and a gift card to CVS. Yes, I know, CVS is red, but money is green, and the gift card was supposed to represent cash flow. I put everything in a shoe box, which is my care package container of choice, and I padded it with green tissue paper. I wrote a card in green marker. I may have tried to draw Kermit on it, but if I did, I failed miserably. I know I drew ears of corn on the outside of the package, in aforementioned green marker.

Care packages, for my brother specifically, have to be useful. He doesn't like things that he can't use or that just take up space. He is a minimalist. So for all of you reading and thinking, these are spectacularly boring gifts, you are right. However, they are extremely purposeful and I'm 97 percent positive they were all used. That 3 percent is because I was so excited when he called after he got it that I didn't ask how useful it really was.

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